A Classroom Nightmare

Last night I had a dream that is a pretty solid example of what I have faced in these past months of teaching. I get really excited about getting new materials for the students in my classroom. But after the initial excitement wears off, worry sets in. I know that as soon as the students get their invariably sticky hands on whatever new thing it may be, it gets broken. Pieces go missing. It may just disappear all together. It happens with crayons, paper, puzzles, magnets, toy animals, and whiteboard markers – especially the caps. This drives me crazy because it seems like such a waste of resources.

And yet when my father bought this for me, I couldn’t help but be excited. It’s basically a Mr.Potato Head puppet. It’s better than a potato though because the students might actually want to play with a monster. I was so excited to take it to the classroom. It will be great for talking about feelings and emotions, for practicing counting, building creativity, and helping to make introducing new concepts exciting.

But the monster puppet has sat in the box of school materials I keep in my apartment (along with an awesome hermit crab puppet I got for Christmas that I also have been scared to take into the classroom because I know if it gets ruined I will become genuinely angry.) The monster puppet is risky to take into the classroom. Beyond the constant worry of it getting covered in syrup, milk, drool, or snot this puppet also has pieces to lose. And it’s a cool puppet. I want my students to enjoy and play with it, but not ruin it. That’s asking a lot of four-year-olds.

Back to my dream. I dreamed that I did take the monster puppet into my classroom on a day when I was being observed by my TFA program director. I brought the puppet out to get students excited for a math lesson – comparing more and less. As soon as they saw the puppet they couldn’t care less about more vs. less and just wanted to see and play with the puppet. I got fed up and put it away. CM then runs up, grabs the puppet, and runs to the back of the room with it. I am forced  ignore this and continue teaching the rest of the students. My amazing and wonderful co-teacher is out sick on this day and I have a sub. She tries to retrieve the puppet from CM and he snarls at her.

At the front of the room I give up on my math lesson after BS kicks MS in the back, JK won’t stop crawling around, SM starts sobbing because I won’t let her sit on the teacher block, and HJ punches BB because he was sitting too close. The sub is still in the back of the room with CM. My TFA director just watches as my classroom breaks down. I dismiss the students to go to centers. They like centers and for the most part get themselves back under control. I retrieve the monster puppet from CM and put it in the library hoping against better judgment that the children will play with it appropriately.

It is not to be. First I realize I forgot to take the little packet of silica gel out of the container. I catch GM trying to open the packet with his teeth. I promptly throw it away and address a scuffle I hear at the computer. I return to the library and find that LJ has dumped the puppet and all of its pieces on the floor. Growing bored she leaves them and goes to a new center. BB and HJ move to the library. BB puts the puppet on his arm but HJ wanted to wear the puppet. He shoves BB, steals the puppet, and leaves the library. BB is sobbing. I make HJ return the puppet. He gets mad, picks up puppet parts on the floor and chucks them across the room. I make him sit down at a table until he chooses to be safe again.

I could go on, but this post is already much longer than I intended and straying a bit from the point. The dream continues and everything that I worried would happen if I brought the puppet to class does. There is a tug of war over body parts. One student builds a puppet and another promptly pulls off all the body parts destroying it. Students hid body parts in their pockets. Others put them in their mouth and were chewing/sucking on them (they do this with paper towels too. I don’t understand.) The library and the puppet was a scene of constant conflict and strife. And again, my TFA director saw the utter failure.

I had the dream last night (Saturday). Tomorrow I return to school. And this also illustrates what I’ve been doing for the past six months – even though I had that dream where all my worst fears were realized, even though I’m sure my dream will not be far from reality (though hopefully my co-teacher will be at school to help), even though I’ll be upset when the puppet gets ruined, I’m still taking the puppet to school with me tomorrow. Because with time my students have gotten so much better and every day I go in hoping today will be another one of those good days. And to lose that hope would make going to work impossible. So keep your fingers crossed that my dream was just a  nightmare not a warning for tomorrow.

I still have time with my students and so I’m  not throwing in the towel. If they can’t handle getting a new puppet, then they’re not ready for kindergarten and I have not fulfilled my purpose. So until they leave my class in June I shall keep coming to work, keep hoping today no one gets punched or has an accident. The incidents of both have already decreased significantly.  Maybe in another month they’ll even my ready for the hermit crab puppet.

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